Losing 40kgs after giving birth

Its hard to believe it but I had put on 40kgs (88lbs) in my 1st pregnancy!

I am...
1.71m (5'6") tall
used to weigh 64kgs

At that height and weight, I was considered big sized in Asia. I was tall but I have a huge frame and I have curves.

Exactly months before I got pregnant at 64kgs

I knew I was never the typical Asian size nor will I ever admit that I am slim. But the fact that I love to eat and I hardly exercised since I move to Malaysia in 2005-2006, my body was in pretty good shape.

During the pregnancy however, my passion for eating went to a whole new level and I began to eat a full meal almost every few hours. Time passed very quickly, I enjoyed my pregnancy and thoroughly enjoy my food! I knew I was putting on weight and lots of friends had told me that I was ballooning up.

However, the thought that I was eating for 2, it's ok you can eat like this when you are pregnant and you'll get away with it... all these self-excuse led to my weighing in 104kgs at the time I was going to give birth, thats 40kgs extra. I basically nearly put on the whole weight of a lot of my tiny Asian friends.

At time of birth, I weighed in 104kgs!

During that time, when I weighed in 104kgs, Asia's Biggest Loser was on TV. I admired how everyone lost so much weight so quickly. They were my size or smaller and lost all that weight but I knew that it required a lot of work which I wasn't willing to put myself through in a gym.

So I do what I know best - be a workaholic as always! I had to do the iPhone 4 launch which was a 3 day x 24hour event (Steve Jobs just passed away so everyone wanted to get an iPhone!) and the setup took 2 days + nights and preparation another 2 days beforehand and teardown was 1 day. So basically it was a whole week of barely any sleep again, non-proper meals, lots of running around, lots of carrying things like a labourer once again, carrying my daughter around whilst working and stress from work led to nearly 9kgs lost in practically 1.5 week! Unhealthy but then if you think about it, I was working like I was working out in the gym and watching my diet because I didn't have the time to eat big long meals like I usually do.

My 4mth old daughter strapped to me most of the time when I was doing my event

But 12 months of running around for work with a child strapped to me, multi-tasking, breast feeding and mainly just being really busy, weight started dropping off naturally. At the end of 12mths, I naturally lost 18kgs from mainly multi-tasking and working like a labourer at my then events business.

I breastfed for 1 year and it was time to wean my daughter off me. Perfect timing I had an event to run which required me to be running around Malaysia for 5days 4nights and there was simply no way I could execute this event with my daughter with me. With the wonderful help of my best friend and Godfather to my daughter, she was sent to Singapore to stay with him for 1 week. She was an easy baby to look after so he had no problems. That was the 1st time I was leaving my daughter for such a long period.

The weaning off, lack of sleep, running around for my event including in the rain, carrying lots of really heavy stuff, not having time to eat proper meals led to an instant huge drop. I lost 5.5kgs in 1 week! Not the healthiest or best way to lose weight but I did. So 16.5kgs more to go...

Work was really busy with so many huge events I had to run back to back and lots of overnight setups which my daughter would accompany me as always. By the time my daughter was 15mths old, I have lost a total of 31kgs from all my multi-tasking and dancing as well!

My 14mth old kept me busy even when I was working at 4am doing an event setup

The last 9kgs however were the hardest, the final bit of weight left simply didn't want to shed off. So a very good friend of mine suggested that I do a detox. And that I did for 10days coupled with lots of clubbing and dancing (due to my newfound confidence that my body as slowly coming back)... the weight did go off. I lost another 4kgs over 2weeks.

I started looking more regular when my daughter was 15mths old

The final 5kgs finally went off during my 1 week trip to India alone with my 18mth old daughter. The combination of being in piles of cloth (saree), heat, carrying my daughter everywhere, vegetarian food, lots of meditation and prayer and lots of walking did it!

In the temple during one of the prayer sessions

My mantra was that I must be 64kgs again (my original weight prior to pregnancy) before I can get pregnant the 2nd time around. I am glad I did it.

It wasn't easy though it sounds like it. So I respect all the overweight people who have lost of weight like the ones you watch on Asia's Biggest Loser.

But then again, if they can do it... 

So can I.

And if I can do it,

So can anyone else...

Just keep that thought that you must go back to your original size and you WILL!

At 64kgs again! Whoopee!

Water Birth in Asia? Can an Asian deliver via Water Birth?

I am proud to say I am a mother of 2 wonderful children.
I am also very proud to say I delivered both my babies through WATER BIRTH.

Being the unconventional person that I naturally am, I have personally known many westerners personally who have done water birth right in their own home. I have seen the pictures and once you watch a video such as these, I knew immediately this would be the only way I would want to give birth to my own children.

For my 1st birth, my 1st tiny contractions started at about 3am. Of course being a 1st time mother, my friends and I were excited and rushed immediately to the hospital.

Arriving at the hospital with my closest friends.

Updating Facebook whilst going through contractions and waiting for the water tub.

My contractions were regular but very far apart and mild. So I managed some power naps in between whilst my friends also slept to rest. Finally 7am onwards, the contractions were regular and very uncomfortable, borderline pain! I was 2.5cm dilated and told that most likely I would birth in the late afternoon. So we all relaxed thinking that we are gonna have a lot time.

I applied the little knowledge I had about hypnobirthing and my Doula Catherine was with me all the way. She would massage my neck, home compress my womb and back and even put me on a medicine  ball to massage my back. All this relieved me tremendously.

I went all the way and decided to do the full works: dim lights, soothing music, lavender aromatherapy, massage, hot bottle compress, warm water, sitting on the medicine ball and most importantly ZERO pain killers and NO EPIDURAL.

3 hours to the last half an hour before birthing, I kept going to the toilet every 10mins to pee a little and I kept feeling like I wanted to do a big poo. 

Nearing 11am, I really felt like I wanted to go to the toilet to poo and I was encouraged to. This is to prevent accidentally poo whilst birthing. As I thought I was trying to poo, all of a sudden, I felt a HUGE BALL come out of my vagina. I thought the baby came out. It wasn't. Instead it was the water bag.

Nurse immediately examined me and then voila! I am fully dilated an ready to birth! It was a mad rush in the hospital. Everyone rushed to fill the tub quickly, pouring buckets of water, putting a hose in and even before the tub was full, I was already in the tub! Doctor has been alerted but we worried he won't arrive on time.

The minute I was in the water, immediately I felt so much relief during the contractions. So I can definitely vie for the fact that water birth helps with contractions.

To relieve the contractions that were happening every few minutes now, I would hum really loudly and squeeze my hands. I could feel the baby's head at the edge and I was told by my Doula that I was crowning. 

I could feel the baby and I didn't care the doctor wasn't there yet. My Doula spoke to me in my ear and then my doctor walks in puts his gloves on really quick and next thing I knew, my doula said 1 more and that's it. I breathed my baby down and doc rushed into the water and got the baby out. All my best friends were with me and I knew this was it.

My 1st baby Alessi came out of the water with gusto. She was a strong baby who wailed out with a cute little frown (a trademark of my Indonesian side of my family). I could hold her in my arm for as long as I wanted. Her white greasy vernix was all over her and immediately she had a strong grip in her fingers. I could warm her up with my own body temperature. There was very little blood that came out of me and the tub water was still clear except for the area near the birth. Finally, I could cut her umbilical cord myself and only then my baby was taken from me to get cleaned, weighed and measured.

I had the gut feeling then that my baby girl was gonna be just as strong and feisty as her mama. I also knew that the bond we had then birthing her in the water will be one that will always keep me close to her.

Going through massive contractions on the left 

On the right, Doctor finally arrived as I was breathing my baby down.

It is the most out of the world feeling and I will not trade that for any other way. I water birthed my 2nd daughter 2 years later as well.

After the water birth, I could step out of the tub to do a land birth of the placenta (something I never knew I had to do prior to birthing).

Breastfeeding for the 1st time

Once the placenta is out, baby's all done, baby was given back to me to breastfeed for the 1st time. I know the colustrum or the 1st milk which looks like honey instead of milk is most nutritious so I gladly let Alessi latch onto my breasts. She was a natural and I became a mother breastfeeding her baby.

A big thank you for the greatest support I could have possibly had during my water birth:

Professor Dr Chong Yap Seng of National University Hospital Singapore, the only Doctor and hospital that you can do Water Birth in Singapore.

Catherine Soon, my personal Doula from Parentlink and Trimester who helped me through all the painful contractions, made me believe that I could do it without the epidural and did/said the right things when I needed it most.

Deborah Fox, my Doula from NUH, that had the patient to explain to me all about water birth in NUH and linking me to Catherine.

My best friends who were by my side and tub: Alan, Nina, Richard and Yunda the donor.

Alessi's birth started with a party of great friends and people and love and it will always stay that way. The beauty of water birth - a few people allowed in the same room :)

My infamous Alessi with her infamous frown at birth

So yes, water birth is not only for Caucasians and for you to watch on YouTube. I am a living example and so is my doula Catherine that Water Birth is possible for Asians and it is available here in Singapore and in Malaysia at Pantai Hospital Bangsar.

Should I consider a Breast Lift after 2 babies?

I used to be infamously known for perky breasts, going without a bra and dancing up & down on a dance platform in a club in really low cut tops. Basically my boobies were my assets! They were a 36C, absolutely perky and just nice :) A lot of people used to ask me if my boobies were fake and whether I had gone for breast augmentation! I took it as a compliment.

 At 36C - on the left, this is a picture of me exactly jus before I got pregnant and on the right, this is a picture of me from 7years ago.

However, during my 1st pregnancy, I had gained a whopping 40kgs (88 pounds)! That obviously expanded my breasts to a crazy 40G!

At size 40G - 1 month before birthing in green and at the hospital on the day of birthing

The massive expansion and shrinking of my breasts have left them not looking as great as they used to. Extreme weight loss and pregnancy are very common reasons why women get SAGGY BREASTS.

A lot of my close friends have made comments about my breasts not being as perky as they used to be and it is most evident when I wear my 'party & clubbing clothes". Not wanting to face the reality of my saggy breasts every time I look at my naked body after a shower, I ignored everyone's comments.

Finally, when my ex-bf visited me, 1st thing he said was - OMFG wat happened to my most favorite breasts!!! (in a very condescending manner).... THAT WAS IT for me!

I went online to do a lot of research and found 1 website which was extremely helpful - How To Tell If I Need A Breast Lift. After reading the measurements the website teaches you to measure, I know for a fact I definitely need a breast lift. 

Most women consider doing a breast lift with a breast augmentation (adding implants or fat). My breasts are already too big, I would like to reduce them so just a breast lift will be more than enough for me. This is a very good video to show how the ACTUAL SURGERY for breast lifts are done using an actual patient. DO NOT watch if you are faint hearted.

I used to say, I will NEVER go under the knife for aesthetic reasons other than the breast reduction and my 1st lumpectomy I had as an 18year old and my 2 other lumpectomies I had as a 25yr old for medical reasons.

I'm single, unmarried and have 2 kids, I think having nicer breasts (it will never be like my original breasts again I know) will boost my dating confidence again. 

If anyone were to criticize me for breast lifts, I would ignore them. Any women can go for a breast lift if they have gone through massive weight loss or pregnancy. It is YOUR body, YOUR rights.

I can't wait to see my breast lift results and I hope they will turn out just like these:

I am scheduled for my 1st appointment end of the year and perhaps do the surgery then, so that I will have less saggy breasts for the new year.

I will post details on my blog after the appointment, surgery time and recovery time. Be on the further look out.

Will also detail out the various doctors I will visit to see who I feel most comfortable with and the costs, so that all you women out there don't have to feel ashamed, I will do the background checks for those of you based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia or planning to do one as medical tourism here in Malaysia.

Children are fussy eaters? Untrue, how to condition and transition for child to table foods

People are always amazed how I can cook so many meals in 45mins - cooking for myself and maid, my 3yr old and 9mth old. Technically speaking there are 3 different groups of people I need to cook for but  I only treat them as 2 groups. 1 group eats my food and the only other person differently is my9mth old.

A few days ago, I explained how I multitask cooking in 45mins. I explained how I prepared the next night's dinner, the night before. But the main secret to my ability of multitasking cooking is because I have conditioned and trained my toddler to eat whatever I eat since she was able to eat proper food at 10-11mths.

I didn't have the luxury then when my current 3.5yr old was 9mths old. At that time, I was single-handedly raising her alone. I didn't have time to prepare a separate meal for her or we would be eating out wherever was convenient for me to grab food for myself whilst running around working like crazy. Also, I was selfish, I didn't want to sacrifice the type of meals I would be having nor did I want to waste money ordering another separate dish altogether.

So my baby would eat whatever I would eat. How? This may sound gross but I would order any dish I wanted except spicy ones and mash/puree the food ala caveman style - put it in my mouth, bite it down so it is soft and mashy and then put it into a teaspoon and feed it to my baby. If it wasn't this, then I would breastfeed her under a breast cover.

I would feed her lots of vege, fish, chicken and rice or pasta, chewed and mashed in my mouth and then transferred to her. I did this because I have heard stories from many mothers whereby their babies/toddlers would chew then spit food out or didn't like eating or had problems sitting down still to eat or were fussy eaters.

I knew in my condition as a single mum and being extremely busy working a sometimes 24-hour job that I couldn't afford to have such a situation.

Friends and public were disgusted by what I did but I ignored all their expressions as I felt that what I was doing and my logic for doing so were right. I felt that if my child experiences various tastebuds from young then she would have a great appetite for a huge variety of food.

I continued doing so and as she grew older, my friends would feed her anything and everything as long as it is softer, smaller  and not so dry. As she grew up, everyone was impressed that she would eat sashimi, raw vege, pate, foie gras, all fruits including Durian - the Asian king of fruit which even I can't stand the smell of, truffle oil, plain rice, pasta, pesto - well she eats almost practically anything from any cultural background.

Occasionally she tries to be stubborn and not want to try something new, but I have always praised her tremendously every time she ate something new and I would remind her how much I would love her and praise he if she just tried. Every time I say that, she will try and 98% of the time, she will realize that she loves eating it regardless.

Also I make eating fun. As she grows older, I multitask eating time with education. We bring out all the different sensors - taste, smell, sight, touch, hear. How?

Sight - I always talk to her about the color and how the food looks, sometimes if I am able to, I create a visual or face out of the food. So I rearrange it for her to see and for her to look at and laugh at and respond.

Smell - We will always smell the food 1st before we eat and I will discuss with her the various smells.

Touch & Hear - I will encourage her to touch the food (depending on what type of food whether it's using her fingers or her spoon) and certain food like crackers, I encourage her to crack them with her fingers to hear the cracking sound so it'll make her happy or impressed and then she can eat it.

Taste - finally everything ends with the taste. Once she tastes the food, I will praise her and clap so she gets really happy.

She has grown up to eat better than most adults, less fussy than most people or babies/toddlers and she eats food varying from super healthy foods to of course event junk food.

My 3 year old voluntarily eats fetta cheese for the 1st time and loves it. 

She loves to eat salad on her own

The other night, she ate almost half of my salad and for the 1st time, she saw fetta cheese and she didn't even ask me what it was, she stuffed it straight in her mouth. Immediately, she told me she loves it and ended up eating half a tub of fetta cheese on her own. A lot of people I know don't fancy fetta but my 3.5yr old thinks its the bomb now.

I hope my tips on trying to raise a non-fussy child helps mothers out there!

Squeezy Saturdays - how I pack a lot of activities in a weekend day for my toddler and baby

I've been so busy with work and feeling unwell the past week that I haven't had the time to write my blog. So here I am doing my usual thing on a weekend - multitasking yet again.

So i've written down my typical Madness Monday. Now it's time to write about my weekends. One would think with such crazy weekdays, I would have lots of time resting and alone time on weekends. In fact, it is the exact opposite.

It all depends on my Friday evenings. Currently I am in party mode, so I am going every Friday for a good dance at a new club and me with the extremities, would of cos only come home when the lights are all switched on in the club. So the earliest would be like last night which is about 3.30am. On certain crazy occasions like last weekend, I can go home latest 6.45am (which is extremely rare)!

Regardless what time I come home, my Saturday wouldn't change (it's only whether I get more or less sleep). My 3yr old girl would wake up between 7.00am - 7.30am latest and Saturday's her ultimate favorite day as it is HER DAY.

7.00am - 7.30am
Wake up and make breakfast for the kids, every week we change the theme/menu for breakfast, baking or cooking something new or different ranging from scrambled eggs-scones-pancake-crepe-french toast-waffles-english muffin-eggs benedict, well basically you name the breakfast item and we have probably made it!

8.30am
Bath time for everyone, this is when me, my 3yr old and 9mth old will have a long bath, playing with water and toys.

9.15am
3yr old gets changed and ready for her ballerina class - her ultimate fav for this moment.

9.45am
The whole family is out of the house and heading towards a nearby mall where her ballerina class is conducted.

10.00am
3yr old at Ballerina class and I am either in the class socializing with the other mothers there or I will be having a quick fix by going for a 1 hour massage.

11.15am - 12.00pm
Running errands - be it payment of bills, getting my contact lenses, dog food, dog groomers - whatever needs to be done for the week

12.00pm - 2.00pm
Brunch/Lunch with my close friends and kids and then the kids will nap whilst I continue with brunch.

2.00pm - 3.00pm
3yr old goes for her arts & crafts class and that's my time, either I catch up on work or read a book or for this particular instance writing my blog.

3.30pm - 6.30pm
At this time, we are either at an indoor playground or at home baking together or swimming at a friend's place and hanging out with friends and if there's spare time within this 3 hour period, then I would watch TV with the kids (watching the kids' program of course) or continue either working or reading a book (most of the time it is working, naturally).

6.30pm - 7.30pm
Hopefully I have a breather, if not I will go straight into preparing and cooking dinner for the 2 kinds and myself.

7.30pm
Dinner time with the kids.

8.00pm
Bath time for all of us.

8.30pm - 9.30pm
Play time or storybook time for both the 3yr old and 9mth old.

9.30pm
Bedtime for everybody and mama does whatever she wants to do then ranging from watching TV/DVD, reading a book, going online or worse case - working on my computer.

11.00pm
If I decide to not go out that night, I will be in bed already around this time. But if I decide to go out and have another crazy night out to tire myself even further - then I would be silly enough to go out on this Saturday night, making it 2 late nights out in a row for me!

So this is how I pack a lot of activities for my kids which also means a lot of activities for myself in a Saturday. So Saturdays are rest days, there's more work for me in a Saturday then there is on a weekday.

I always wonder what most other Single Mums or families do on a Saturday...